How To Identify Limiting Beliefs

How to identify limiting beliefs in 5 steps

Limiting beliefs are any belief that works against wisdom.

The opposite of enlightenment is ignorance.

A limiting belief is one that keeps us from realizing our original nature as enlightened beings.

The three main limitations to realizing this are anger, greed, and ignorance. The worst of these is ignorance because ignorance causes us to misunderstand the nature of life, death, and what we are.

The opposite of ignorance is to know (1) that one will die and (2) that while alive one can find within oneself what will not die. And to live with such knowledge is called wisdom.

The worst part of limiting beliefs is that their ill effects go far beyond the damage they do to the person who has them.

Limiting beliefs are far more damaging to the environment—to the people, society, and ecology—in which we live, than they appear, at first glance.

Drinking and smoking, for example, harm both the smoker as well as the people around that person.

A private detective friend of mine told me that most homicides are the result of drinking and drugs. Innocent bystanders beware!

In short, limiting beliefs are any beliefs that stem from ignorance, greed, and anger.

What are the most common limiting beliefs?

Three of the most common examples of limiting beliefs are:

I am . . .

  1. not good enough / inferior and incompetent.
  2. unlovable / not likable / incapable of intimacy.
  3. not doing enough / insignificant/ a burden to others.

The most common limiting beliefs are found in the three classifications of negative beliefs about the self: worthlessness, unlovability, and helplessness (Judith Beck 2005, 2011).

Exactly how the negative beliefs are expressed may vary. Many people — whether highly successful, not successful, creative, analytical, etc. — struggle with some version of these three limiting beliefs.

Regardless of how the belief is expressing itself, limiting beliefs raise concern because of the harm they cause ourselves and society at large. And this is why all of the world’s religions have systems for preventing limiting beliefs.

How to identify limiting beliefs using religion

Now you’re aware that limiting beliefs hurt you and those you love. But the question remains: how to identify these limiting beliefs?

Christianity’s seven deadly sins, for example, are regarded as a list of warnings against what the western world sees as the qualities that make for the most maleficent beliefs. Such beliefs are truly limiting insofar as they limit life, creativity, and goodness.

According to Christian doctrine the seven deadly sins are (1) Lust (2) Gluttony (3) Greed (4) Sloth (5) Wrath (6) Envy (7) Pride.

Other religions have notions about sin that are similar to Christianity.

In a quick summary, Muslims believe that sin is anything that goes against the command of God. Jewish faith sees sin as a violation of the Torah. Hinduism views sin as any misdeed against Dharma.

Sikhism has a slightly different view that sin is any indulgence in a discriminating, selfish ego that cuts you off from God.

And in Buddhism, there isn’t a concept of sin, but there is Karma which is closer to Aristotle’s notion of cause and effect.

Also, you can judge beliefs in terms of their effects on the environment. If you negatively affect your environment based on your belief, you’re making a mistake.

To hurt a thing is to go against your nature, which is a mistake.

What does ‘sin’ mean?

The word ‘sin’ means, “mistake.” It appears as early as Aristotle in his Poetics as the notion of hamartia. Hamartia is the fatal act of a hero that brings about tragic consequences.

When you understand sin as a mistake, the concept becomes almost athletic in nature. Such a mindset makes life a kind of game you can play excellently, or not. In this sense, sin is understood as missing the mark, like an arrow misses its target.

Therefore, sin is a mistake that upsets eudaimonia, or, The Good Life. Sin limits your ability to flourish and thrive with virtue.

Originally, sin is more like a scientific term that pertains to cause and effect relationships. One’s mistaken actions bring bad consequences. This is a different understanding from sin as a term of judgment that serves power, such as: “I am the one who has the power to determine whether or not you are good or evil, and, therefore, whether or not you should be punished.”

Beliefs are devices

It’s important to know that beliefs are devices. Because beliefs have effects. And you can choose which beliefs to use. Therefore, beliefs can be seen as tools. For just as a hammer has an effect on a nail, a belief has an effect on a person and a person affects the world in which he lives and functions.

In other words, if you want to know how to identify limiting beliefs, it’s best to ask: what is the effect of this belief on myself and those around me? And you can call any effect that brings more ignorance, anger, and greed “limiting.”

How to identify limiting beliefs in 5 steps

One of the chief safeguards against limiting beliefs is to be able to see things as they are. By doing so, you can respond accurately and effectively to maintain a growth mindset.

A growth mindset, as defined by Carol Dweck in her book, Mindset, is the belief that you can succeed through time and effort. A growth mindset opposes a fixed mindset, namely, the belief that one has fixed, unchangeable traits.

You can identify limiting beliefs that trap you in a fixed mindset. For example, you can read, study, and reflect widely and deeply. Also, you can work with a wise teacher in the western tradition of eudaimonia—or Virtue—ethics, or use assessment tools like personality tests to raise your self-awareness.

The ABC method

One practice that is especially effective for identifying limiting beliefs is the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy tool, the ABC method.

With the ABC method, you can clearly see how we ascribe beliefs to experiences.

This exercise is helpful because you locate your beliefs in a specific situation.

Some people can do this exercise on their own, others find it easier to do with some help. The ABC exercise is especially effective to work on with a coach.

Grab pen and paper. Now, get ready. Use these 5 steps to identify and overcome your limiting beliefs.

Step 1 – Activating event

Something happens to you or in the environment around you. 

Write down: 

  • What happened? Choose a very recent triggering event. A fight with your spouse, making a big decision, etc. 

Step 2 – Beliefs

You believe in a certain interpretation of the activating event.

Write down:

  • What is your self-talk, or un-resourceful thoughts about this?
  • What do you believe about the activating event?
  • Which of your beliefs are helpful? Which are self-defeating beliefs?

Step 3 – Consequences

Your belief has consequences that include feelings and behaviors.

Write down: 

  • How did you feel? 
  • Which emotions were present? (anger, self-pity, shame, anxiety, etc.)
  • How would you describe your physical experience? (stomach feels tense, the face is hot, heart beats faster, etc.)
  • What behaviors ensued as a result (drinking, attacking, isolating, etc.)

Step 4 – Dispute

Challenge your beliefs to create new consequences. 

Write down:

  • What is the evidence that your belief is true? 
  • In what way is your belief helpful? Unhelpful?

Step 5 – Effective new belief. 

Write down your new belief.

  • Adopt your new belief!

Next steps

Any belief has the potential to be a limiting belief. Because the effects of beliefs depend on the environment in which they operate.

You should understand the effects of your beliefs on your behavior, and the effects of your behavior on your relationship with others.

If a belief encourages others in a positive direction, it’s not a limiting belief.

One helpful model for judging whether or not your belief helps someone grow is the SCARF model. The SCARF model outlines the conditions a human mind needs in order to feel comfortable enough to open and grow.

S          Status

C          Certain

A          Autonomy

R          Relationship

F          Fairness

For someone to have a growth mindset they must know their Status and the status of others—the hierarchy, the power structure, and where they stand in it. Also, they must be Certain about where they are and what’s going on. They must have a sense of Autonomy and know the nature of the Relationship in which they are engaged (as in is this person a friend or foe—with or against me). Lastly, they must have a sense of Fairness.

How to identify limiting beliefs using the S.C.A.R.F. model

One could say that any belief that hampers these conditions and thwarts one’s growth is a limiting belief.

For example, if I am CEO who makes much more money than the people below me and I don’t fairly distribute the profits I risk violating a sense of fairness in the company, which reduces morale because employees lose their natural ability to want to innovate, create, and thrive because one of the terms necessary for the growth mindset—in this case, Fairness—is absent.

A remarkable revolution would occur if society were organized in such a way that all of the conditions for growth, thriving, flourishing, and a sense of agency were taken seriously as guiding principles for social policy and practice.

In conclusion, we all have limiting beliefs, because we all have beliefs whose effects on our environment we don’t understand.

Therefore, in Zen one is encouraged to take responsibility for everything that happens in the universe. Taking ultimate responsibility for the wellness of others is a heroic stance that encourages us to reflect deeply on the nature and power of the mind—especially Buddha’s mind—to reach the hearts of all existing beings and walk with them to happiness.

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6 Reviews on Bodhi Heart

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Joshua Levy
Joshua Levy
I have bee seeing Soken for while now. If you have some sort of lingering physcial malady go see him, don't wait. He's pretty busy and it might take some time to get in so call right now. Some of my injuries and pain that I have had for years have been greatly relieved by his rolfing work and he's also just a great human being. I would totally go see him for his other services as well. Rolfing doesn't need to be super intense though it can be. He will calibrate to what you need
Philippa Newman
Philippa Newman
I cannot recommend Soken highly enough. He will literally transform your life. I first came to meet Soken for his Rolfing services when I had been living with unbearable lower back pain for over a year. Numerous visits to doctors, various x-rays and months of physical therapy later, I was no better off and desperate to find an alternative solution. Having read about Rolfing as a technique, I discovered Soken's practice in NYC. I am now back pain free and able to do things I thought no longer possible. As I learned more about Soken during our Rolfing sessions, I became interested in his spiritual life coaching /contemplative guidance program. His carefully tailored program has given me enormous insight, and I am a better person, mother and leader as a result. Soken has a calming, peaceful and reassuring presence, and I am extremely grateful to have met him when I did.
A Rice
A Rice
Soken is an amazing coach that will get to the essence of your issues. Difficult issues seem to become easier handle talking to Soken. He is a great coach to have, especially in these times. He is clear and ensures you leave each session with an understanding and a plan of action.
Maya Kumits
Maya Kumits
I’ve been going to Soken for years for my bodywork and sending everyone I know to him too. The work he does with his hands is incredible - I cannot say enough good things. This review, however, is for life coaching. I was faced with a decision recently that I was having trouble making. I was going in circles. I kept changing my mind because I ultimately had no idea what to do. I felt lost and confused. I reached out to Soken for help and was so glad I did. After struggling for weeks trying to figure out the right thing to do, a 1-hour call with him gave me the clarity I needed. By answering a series of thoughtful questions and hearing my answers reflected back to me, I was able to untangle the signal from the noise. By the end of the call, the answer revealed itself. It’s been a few weeks since our call and I still feel great about the decision. I’m so grateful to Soken for helping me with this and won’t hesitate to reach out again for more life coaching.
Marni Gordon
Marni Gordon
I highly recommend Soken as he's a fantastic coach! Soken really helped me set clear goals and measures, helped me to get to insight, and ensures that I have a strong action plan with accountability in every session. Soken's coaching helped me overcome the fear of taking the next step. Soken is sensitive and provides compassionate support through the process.
faraz khan
faraz khan
Soken is an exceptionally intelligent person who seems to understand any multiple of bodily issues. I've been struggling with a reoccurring injury the past few years, and already after the first session I can sense a lot of good has been done. I highly recommend him to anyone 😊
Shonni Silverberg
Shonni Silverberg
I got to know Soken as a client of his Rolfing practice, where his expertise was immeasurably valuable in treating my plantar fasciitis. During the COVID crisis, Soken introduced me to meditation. Practicing under his guidance has been extremely helpful in these turbulent times. Shonni J. Silverberg, M.D., New York, NY
Anaina Mascovich
Anaina Mascovich
The meditation guidance and talk last night was phenomenal. I have had instruction on Metta meditation before, but your explanation offered so much wisdom and direct understanding. Much Gratitude to You Soken.
Lena Elkousy
Lena Elkousy
This review is long overdue, and I would give 10 stars if I could. I cannot recommend Soken's work highly enough. Rolfing is an investment in my physical and emotional health that I wish I had made long ago. To put it quite simply, Soken has changed my life. When we work together, he listens to what I say and what my body says, and works with me right where I am. He is a true healer. In our first series of sessions, he permanently relieved shoulder/neck pain and unfurled a chronic knot that no amount of years of deep tissue massage could even touch. One side of my ribcage was bound with fascia and scar tissue from physical and emotional trauma, to the point that I couldn't breathe into my lower right lung without feeling cramping in surrounding muscles. Over a few sessions, he set me free, and you can actually see the difference in the shape of my ribs. In a series other sessions, he relieved sharp cramping in my feet that I've dealt with since childhood. As a yogi and meditator myself, I find Soken's integrative approach quite profound. Do yourself a favor and an act of self love: and go see this wizard.
Stella Nyla Jules
Stella Nyla Jules
Soken has been transformational in improving and diminishing the increasing pain in my neck and shoulder that traditional physical therapies failed to resolve. His patience, caring, and intuition are top notch.


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