How to Make Your Phone a Good Thing

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Friends bring out the best in each other. So, how can you bring the best out of your smartphone, and how can your smartphone bring the best out of you . . . 

I recently read that my smartphone is probably killing me.

Apparently, it does this by generating stress through unnecessary gossip, negativity, interruptions, bad news, and addiction. Ok. But doesn’t just about everybody I come into contact with do the same? Or what about the millions of surprise inconveniences that come my way every day in New York? They must be killing me, too, right? —including the article I just read (on my smartphone) about how my smartphone is killing me.

Is your smartphone really the problem?

We are in relationship to our smartphones as we are to people. In an astonishing infograph on Gen Z published in February 2019 by Visual Capitalist, some 98% own a smart-phone and half of them are connected for 10 hours a day

To be sure, smartphones are designed to be addictive. And they do destroy our ability to think. But there need be nothing wrong with smartphones, used well, any more than there’s anything wrong with friends or families or colleagues, or strangers, or anyone with whom we happen to be in relationship.  So, if you want to get a handle on your smartphone—don’t think about it as an evil device that suddenly burst onto the scene ten years ago to forever change our form of life. Such alarmism doesn’t help us. 

Think of the relationship you have to your smartphone as a serious one — as one you might have with a friend. If you do this, you’ll inevitably come to ask: what is the purpose of friendship?   

Friends bring out the best in each other

The purpose of a friendship is for each friend to bring out the best in the other. So, how can you bring the best out of your smartphone, and how can your smartphone bring the best out of you? 

This is a topic that could fill volumes. The philosophy of friendship has been with us at least since Plato and Aristotle 2,500 years ago. The shortcoming of smartphones is that we can’t celebrate our best possibilities with them, such as picking strawberries by a river. Or digging out a fresh-water spring in the mountains. The smartphone doesn’t appreciate or enjoy such activities, and, therefore can’t share them in a way that our human companions can. 

Electronic devices can, however, help bring such activities about. For example: Perhaps you might consider these wildly divergent articles: wikiHow to Live Your Best Life according to Opraha YouTube video on how to plant a tree, a site on Japanese gardens, or 18th-century philosopher Immanuel Kant’s very short essay  “What Is Enlightenment,” in which he writes that, “to give up enlightenment altogether, either for oneself or one’s descendants, is to violate and to trample upon the sacred rights of man.” 

So, don’t use your smartphone—or do anything with anyone—unconsciously or automatically. Reflect on what you’re doing and why. Indeed, this is the true meaning of the word ‘mindfulness,’ and ‘meditation.’ We might just as well call it alertness, focus, or composure.

Live your best life

Among the highest ideals of Western Civilization is freedom. Use your smartphone and friendships to make more of it. Study with your friends or your partner or a teacher, coach, or mentor how to live your best life—a life that all people everywhere at any time will be happy for you to have lived. 

It’s not that you’ll find one answer in a eureka moment and stop investigating: it’s the energy spent in ongoing refinement of one’s life by way of  investigation, study, and practice that makes one’s life the so called, ‘best.’ And it’s important to have a group of people with whom to share this activity to make it more fun.

Do this, and then see whether or not your smartphone is really the problem.

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Joshua Levy
Joshua Levy
I have bee seeing Soken for while now. If you have some sort of lingering physcial malady go see him, don't wait. He's pretty busy and it might take some time to get in so call right now. Some of my injuries and pain that I have had for years have been greatly relieved by his rolfing work and he's also just a great human being. I would totally go see him for his other services as well. Rolfing doesn't need to be super intense though it can be. He will calibrate to what you need
Philippa Newman
Philippa Newman
I cannot recommend Soken highly enough. He will literally transform your life. I first came to meet Soken for his Rolfing services when I had been living with unbearable lower back pain for over a year. Numerous visits to doctors, various x-rays and months of physical therapy later, I was no better off and desperate to find an alternative solution. Having read about Rolfing as a technique, I discovered Soken's practice in NYC. I am now back pain free and able to do things I thought no longer possible. As I learned more about Soken during our Rolfing sessions, I became interested in his spiritual life coaching /contemplative guidance program. His carefully tailored program has given me enormous insight, and I am a better person, mother and leader as a result. Soken has a calming, peaceful and reassuring presence, and I am extremely grateful to have met him when I did.
A Rice
A Rice
Soken is an amazing coach that will get to the essence of your issues. Difficult issues seem to become easier handle talking to Soken. He is a great coach to have, especially in these times. He is clear and ensures you leave each session with an understanding and a plan of action.
Maya Kumits
Maya Kumits
I’ve been going to Soken for years for my bodywork and sending everyone I know to him too. The work he does with his hands is incredible - I cannot say enough good things. This review, however, is for life coaching. I was faced with a decision recently that I was having trouble making. I was going in circles. I kept changing my mind because I ultimately had no idea what to do. I felt lost and confused. I reached out to Soken for help and was so glad I did. After struggling for weeks trying to figure out the right thing to do, a 1-hour call with him gave me the clarity I needed. By answering a series of thoughtful questions and hearing my answers reflected back to me, I was able to untangle the signal from the noise. By the end of the call, the answer revealed itself. It’s been a few weeks since our call and I still feel great about the decision. I’m so grateful to Soken for helping me with this and won’t hesitate to reach out again for more life coaching.
Marni Gordon
Marni Gordon
I highly recommend Soken as he's a fantastic coach! Soken really helped me set clear goals and measures, helped me to get to insight, and ensures that I have a strong action plan with accountability in every session. Soken's coaching helped me overcome the fear of taking the next step. Soken is sensitive and provides compassionate support through the process.
faraz khan
faraz khan
Soken is an exceptionally intelligent person who seems to understand any multiple of bodily issues. I've been struggling with a reoccurring injury the past few years, and already after the first session I can sense a lot of good has been done. I highly recommend him to anyone 😊
Shonni Silverberg
Shonni Silverberg
I got to know Soken as a client of his Rolfing practice, where his expertise was immeasurably valuable in treating my plantar fasciitis. During the COVID crisis, Soken introduced me to meditation. Practicing under his guidance has been extremely helpful in these turbulent times. Shonni J. Silverberg, M.D., New York, NY
Anaina Mascovich
Anaina Mascovich
The meditation guidance and talk last night was phenomenal. I have had instruction on Metta meditation before, but your explanation offered so much wisdom and direct understanding. Much Gratitude to You Soken.
Lena Elkousy
Lena Elkousy
This review is long overdue, and I would give 10 stars if I could. I cannot recommend Soken's work highly enough. Rolfing is an investment in my physical and emotional health that I wish I had made long ago. To put it quite simply, Soken has changed my life. When we work together, he listens to what I say and what my body says, and works with me right where I am. He is a true healer. In our first series of sessions, he permanently relieved shoulder/neck pain and unfurled a chronic knot that no amount of years of deep tissue massage could even touch. One side of my ribcage was bound with fascia and scar tissue from physical and emotional trauma, to the point that I couldn't breathe into my lower right lung without feeling cramping in surrounding muscles. Over a few sessions, he set me free, and you can actually see the difference in the shape of my ribs. In a series other sessions, he relieved sharp cramping in my feet that I've dealt with since childhood. As a yogi and meditator myself, I find Soken's integrative approach quite profound. Do yourself a favor and an act of self love: and go see this wizard.
Stella Nyla Jules
Stella Nyla Jules
Soken has been transformational in improving and diminishing the increasing pain in my neck and shoulder that traditional physical therapies failed to resolve. His patience, caring, and intuition are top notch.

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